Saturday 30 January 2010

Ski Resort Review: Milton Keynes Snowdome

i went here the summer before last as i was desperate to ski after our long stint in the Alps for the 2007/2008 season. It's late, and i feel like writing so if you can suffer to read it, this won't take long.

Basically, the "piste" is about 50 or so meters long and actually, the snow is quiet good. I would say better than the snow-cannon mush you get lower down here in the Portes du Soleil. You can even find "powder" down the sides of the run if they haven't bashed it recently.

I could spend the next week describing how much it isn't like skiing in the Alps, but then you already know that because it's in Milton Keynes! However, actually, even for, as i now consider myself, an experienced skier, i had a lot of fun in two hours. I got to practice tight turns, small jumps and bumps, and get my balance back.

For £80 for two people that's really not bad considering that it'll take the average person about 2-3 hours to get their legs back on their first day of skiing and those hours will cost you a lot more than £80 (flights, accommodation, etc). And that's also 2-3 dangerous hours. Remember i landed on my head on my first day back not so long ago. Chest still sore.

So actually, i would highly recommend going to your local snowdome before setting out on a ski holiday even if you're a regular skier. More than that, if you haven't skied before and are setting out on your first holiday i would say it should be mandatory to go. You will save so much time in learning how to don your boots and skis, ride button-lifts, and do basic turns. I predict that if you do ski indoors before your first "real" ski-trip, you'll easily be bumped up to the class above beginner on your second day of lessons because you'll be much more advanced than your peers. And consequently your entire early ski-career will get off to a much faster start.

Hmm, maybe i should consider some Google Ads for the snowdome...

My French Education: Plus Que Jamais

So i'm learning a lot more French and my workplace is a lot more French than i thought it would be. This is great! I get free lessons from my colleagues. Today's word (phrase) is "plus que jamais". It means "more than ever". Not "more than never". That had me quiet confused for some time since i hear it all the time!

More cool phrases include "Je me suis trompé". This means "I tricked myself". Which really means: "I made a mistake". I use this a lot. Obviously.

And finally, the most important word i learned this week was "réglisse". This is liquorice, which means i can now offer some to my desk-mates. Excellent.

Ski Resort Review: St Anton

Sankt Anton am Arlberg is a quaint little village dotted with authentic high-alpine chalets carefully tailored by precise Austrian attention to detail. It is tastefully complemented by traditional, family-run restaurants serving a medley of traditional Austrian cuisine neatly juxtaposed with modern European fine-dining. All this is swathed in some of the best snow and skiing known to human-kind.

Oh wait, no it isn't. That's what i wanted it to be! Actually it's a heaving mass of drunken Austrian/English/German/Swiss speed-crazed lunatics stumbling from one gaudy, awful, noisy, identical pub to the next in search of the highest alcohol-to-Euro ratio.

Ok, so minus the unnecessary adjectives, St Anton is really set in a very deep U-shaped valley. It was very dark in January with our chalet getting only about 4 hours of light a day. St Anton serves no other purpose than to get skiers into completely ridiculously over-the-top lifts up to the top of the mountain so that they can get back down to those pubs as fast as possible. This is despite the innumerable billboards blotting out the landscape urging, nay, pleading with you to come back in the summer because, really, it's not all about the skiing.

It really does have fancy lifts though. The Galzig lift first takes you on a ferris-wheel ride and then hooks you on the cable which lifts you in perfect comfort up to about 2000m. Great. The Valfagehr lift from Stuben has heated seats and a snow-screen, as does the new futuristic Rendl bubble. Wonderful. You know, i'd rather spend about 20 Euros less per day and have plain old normal lifts. Moan moan moan.

The thing is, St Anton is all very fancy-pants with its cool lifts and clearly very expensive marketing and shiny golden lined pistemaps, but it's completely ruined by the populace who are only there for the booze and the wide, flat racing pistes.

We didn't get to choose where to eat, but every single pub seemed to be blaring the same music (for people in neighbouring resorts to hear) and serving the same bland ubiquitous food. I ate at a place called the "Funky Chicken" which was like Nandos without the spice. Some random pizza joint, and then a "Mexican" place which served Tex-Mex but was decorated with US number plates and ski-jumping skis. Bizarre. Oh and i had an enchilada which they called a burrito. It was expensive.

Ok, but who cares right, because as long as you have hot food, it's all about the skiing. Ok, so, again, i didn't get to choose where to ski but was quite happy to pootle about find what off-piste i could along the way. There wasn't much powder to be found and it was mostly very shallow and dangerously hiding nasty rocks on which i ground my edges several times but the powder i did find was excellent. Dry, soft, fluffy. Brilliant.

My impression from mostly piste-skiing St Anton was that it's quite flat. The blues are green, the reds blue, and the blacks red. Their marked off-piste red-diamond runs were reddish and i didn't get to ski the "extreme" marked off-piste black-diamond runs but from what i could see from the chair, that would just be a normal black here in the Portes du Soleil.

The St Anton pistes were extremely wide, inviting the kind of skier for whom turning is just too much hassle so most of the runs consisted of insane weekender morons going as fast as they possibly can with no style whatsoever down blue runs. I saw a (probably) 8 year old child nearly get wiped out by a barely sub-sonic snow-ploughing retard on the flat section of a blue run next to a "slow-down" sign. That was fairly typical. The off-piste, when we finally got do some properly, was deserted and from our vantage point the piste looked like it was the pinch of an hourglass with multi-coloured sand rushing through it. Natalie likes this metaphor. Go me.

We did ski the Valluga. I was expecting dramatic, death-defying mogul hopping but it was incredibly tame. The most exhilarting bit was being yelled at by a mad Austrian Pisteur because, apparently, i don't know how to ride a T-Bar.

So, in summary, if you like fast slopes, fast food, fancy lifts, drinking (think Cardiff-style boozing), then please go to St Anton. i had a fun weekend, but i won't be going back any time soon.

Wednesday 20 January 2010

It is snowy in the Alps


Yip, lots of snow. Absolutely terrifying trip home this evening. I'm convinced that the recession has led to there being fewer snow-ploughs about so it was very exciting getting home. I've decided to go via Thonon-les-Bains on snow-days because the mountain road is less windy and steep than going via the motorway. It'll take longer but then I won't, hopefully feel like I need a lie down after the trip.

I realise I haven't said very much about the acual skiing here. Herewith, a Portes-du-Soleil January summary: there's oodles of snow, there's more snow every few days. Every time we've been out we've found some off-piste that's pretty decent, good bumps, not too icy, and patches of truly epically good snow - feels like you're sliding down warm, lightly sweetened butter. I think not skiing as often, but regularly is helping me improve. i've got a lot more energy for moguls on legs that haven't skied for 5 days.

Every weekend so far we've skied both days, and on the Sunday we go racquetting after the ski which Scarlett, Natalie, and I really love. It's 27 Euros to rent randonee skis for a day so we'll probably try that in early February. I'm personally extremely keen to ski the Col de Coux.

On Friday we're driving out to Sankt Anton am Arlberg in Austria (that's that place where they throw boom-er-angs and wear hats with corks in them i think - Tony may know better as he is from there) so i'm sure you're thrilled about reading my upcoming resort review.

Thursday 14 January 2010

How not to do many things


Ok, so I was going to write some small, individual pieces on:

How not to ski: On day one of my 2009/2010 skiing on the first run of the season I took a sharp steep bend at speed, embedded my skis in some icy slush and landed on my head. Great. Now i've had a sore chest and back from the whiplash for two weeks. Panic not parental ones, i'm fine, just stupid. And i've learnt my lesson. Until next time.

How not to live-in-Geneva: Geneva traffic is worse than London. I kid you not. On my first day it took me 4 hours to get to work and 2 back. I've since found a better route and I'm averaging 1.5 hours each way now. I suspect that once the enormous amount of snow has gone, the traffic will become less insane. However, it might have been slightly easier to not live 70km away from work. However-even-more, our chalet is awesome and it's rather nice living in a ski resort. Boast boast, the snow is awesome yada yada.

How not to "something-witty-about-work (editor: don't post until you've thought of something)": Yeah so work is ok. It's very early days. My manager has disappeared with the BA off to the States this week so i'm trying to figure things out on my own. Awesome. In a nutshell, it's ok. You might want to e-mail me for a more complete answer. I'm working on a new-client risk analysis and compliance system. I'll give you a more thorough answer when i've got one.

The people are very nice and welcoming. Everyone is extremely polite. I apparently work in the Tower of Babel as I regularly hear English, French, Italian, Spanish, Dutch, etc. And it is very French, which is great for my vocabulary.

Is the grass greener? I couldn't possibly say. Yet. It's definitely whiter.

So yeah. I'm going skiing on Saturday and Sunday and possibly a spot of Raquetting too. Next weekend we're off to Sankt Anton am Arlberg in Austria to meet Sam for a spot of skiing and some light family reunion and dog walking.

Anyway, more important than any of this. Why haven't you booked your ski holiday with us yet? Come on the Winter won't last forever. I hope.